26 - INTO THE MYSTERIOUS LOCKED
DOOR BELOW
But, you know, I sat down by the bed and held her hand, and watched her carefully until the respiration came back normal - until her pulse was normal and I felt she would live. And I thought of another thing. I'll do this, then. I saw where her keys were hid in her shelf right there in her own room. Saw them on a big chain or a big ring. And I thought, "I'm going to take those keys. I'm going down into that dungeon." There's a... when I say down, this is two storey under the ground. I'm going someplace where she's always wandered. It's a solid wall like that. And clear up to the back end of that wall there's one door. And it's heavy. It's always locked. And I've heard her tell me scores of times, and I'm sure she has the others, "Don't ever try to go through that door."
What in the world is over there? And why does she tell us that? We can't get through it. It's locked. But, you know, I wondered what was back there. Because when they had me in the dungeon for a long time once, I heard screams under the ground. I heard such blood-curdling screams. And I knew there was some girls locked up somewhere. And so I'm going through there if I find the key.
And so I got her keys and I went into that particular place. And when I got back there - it took a while to do it, I want you to know, to find the key. But, oh, it did unlock that door. I walk through that door and I walk into a hall. The hall, I would say, was maybe five feet wide, maybe wider than that. That's just a guess.
And, anyway, on the other side of the hall there were a number of cells over there. Small rooms. And they had real heavy doors. And in those cells were little Nuns. And when I went up to the first one, near the top of the door there was a little place about this long, its about that wide, and it has iron bars going across there.
And I looked right into the face of a little Nun that I knew! One that I'd sit across the table from. One that I'd played with as a child. I knew that girl! And here she is. And they had chains and locked chains around either of her wrists, and around her waistline.
And I said, "When did you have something to eat last?"
And no answer.
"How long you been here?"
No answer.
I went down to the second, the third, the fourth, and the fifth. And the stench was getting so bad, I couldn't stand it. And, you know, those little girls would not talk. Why?
27 - NUNS IN THE DUNGEON
And, you know, those little girls would not talk. Why?
I lived in the Convent, you know, a long time. I don't care if I was two miles under the Convent, way back there, we were working back there. And we'd whisper. The next day I'd have to suffer because the convents are wired. And the Mother Superior can hear every voice. Every whisper. And then somebody tells. And you're in some serious trouble.
And those Nuns have been there long enough. What have they done? I don't know. But those Nuns supposed to have cracked up mentally. And so they have to put them in those chains. And when they die, they can't fall down to the floor. They'll just drop in those chains and slump. When they go in there they don't give them any more food. No more water. That's a slow death.
And so, as I saw all of that, I became so sick from the terrible stench, because many of them are already dead. Now I don't know how long they've been dead.
I came out of there and walked up back to this room where the Mother Superior was. And she was lying there sleeping. And I watched her carefully and she slept 'til the next day. Oh, long, long hours and didn't awaken. And when she did, she said, "I had a long sleep." And I said, "Yes." They let me take care of her for three days. And, you know, the third day... I don't know.
You say, "Did she ever find out you done that?" Well, not yet. I hoped she didn't while I was there.
28 - HOPE OF ESCAPE
But anyway, in three days they put me out in the kitchen. In other words, when we go to the kitchen, six of us go for a six weeks' period. And this particular time they put me out in the kitchen with five other little Nuns. What am I there for? I'm doing the kitchen work. I'm going to do all the cooking that's done out there, and take care of the work in the kitchen.
And so when I went out in the kitchen, we have a long table back here. And it's a work table. And our vegetables will be prepared for the soup. And that's what we were doing - all six of us.
And something happened.
Our kitchen is a very large room, and a very long room. Not as wide as it is long. And over at one end of it, you'll find over here the stair steps leading - about four - leading down into the landing right there. Over there is a big heavy outside door. But here, there's a landing. Our garbage cans sit there. And right here is a stairway - cement one - leading down one storey under the ground. Now, I'm up on first floor in this kitchen.
Alright, as I'm in there, and we're there working, something happened. Somebody touched a garbage can. You know, all my Convent life we are taught never to break silence. We don't dare to make noises in the Convent. We are punished for them. And when something touched the garbage can, that's a noise. And who in the world... six of us, and we're all together... who's touching the garbage can?
I reeled around, and they reeled around. And we saw a man.
And, you know, that man was picking up the full can, leaving an empty one. I've never seen that before! I've been in that Convent for years in the kitchen, but I never saw anything like that happen.
I believe God had His hands on me. With all my heart I believe it.
And you say, "What happened?"
Well, we turned around quickly because, to us, it's a mortal sin to look upon a man other than a Roman Catholic priest. Now, I mean, we turned around quick and went to our work.
But, you know, I thought, "If that man comes back again to get another full can, I'm going to give him a note and I'm going to ask him if I can run out with him."
But, I didn't do that. But, you know what I did? When we run out of something in the kitchen there's a pencil hanging up there on a chain. And, bless your heart, I have to, or whoever it is runs out, you have to write it on a tab. And of course I stole a piece of paper off of a sack. And I thought, "I'll carry that little piece of paper in my skirt pocket. And every time I can get a'hold of that pencil, I'm going to write a word or two on the note. And that's what I did. It took quite a while to do it.
But, oh, I watched that garbage can. Every time I could take the garbage down there I did it. And, you know, when it was just about full, and I thought, "The next evening it'll be full when we put all the garbage in it." And so that afternoon, I broke my Crucifix, and I laid it up on a shelf. And I had a hard time doing it, because they're watching me. But I did it. And I laid it up on the shelf. And I did that to have a way to get back to that room, of course.
And when our dinner work is over, our supper dishes, everybody has to go out at the same time. And we march by the Mother Superior. And, you know, when I march by I stopped and said, "Please, may I speak to you?"
And I did. And I said, "Mother Superior, I broke my crucifix and I left it in the kitchen. May I go for it?"
And, of course, no Nun goes without her crucifix. And she said, "How did you break it?"
I lied to her. Everything she asked me, I lied to her. You say, "Why did you lie?" She lies to us. And we're all sinners, so we all lie. And it doesn't make any difference in there.
And so we lied. And I lied to her. And then finally she said, "You go get the crucifix and come right back."
And that's all I wanted anyway. I have to have a reason. You can't go back into the kitchen after you left it.
And so I didn't go for the crucifix. But she thought I did, and run for this tin can. Why? That night when I put my garbage in there, I put a note right on top of that garbage and left the lid off, which I was not supposed to do.
And, you know, I said on the note to the garbage man, "If you get this, won't you please help me out? Won't you do something to help the little Nuns out?"
I told him about those nineteen cells down there, and those nineteen Nuns in them. I told him about some of the babies that had been killed. I told him some other little Nuns that are locked up in the dungeons and they're bound with chains. I told him a 'plenty. And I said, "Won't you help us? And if you will, please leave a note under the empty can."
That's what I went back for. And when I lifted up the can and found a note, you don't know how I felt. I froze to the floor. I was so scared I didn't know what to do.
I picked that piece of paper up and I read. And this is what that man said: "I'm leaving that door unlocked, and I'll leave the big iron gate unlocked. You come out."
29 - OUTSIDE THE CONVENT
Oh, let me tell you that are almost more than you would ever... Why, I never dreamed I'd get out of the Convent! I never thought of ever getting out. I wanted out. But you say.. Oh, yes, I, when I collect myself, I reached over and turned the knob. And, do you know, it was open. I walked out of that Convent, and I slammed it to. I was sure the lock was on it. And I got out to the big iron gate. But, oh, he had me trapped!
That iron gate was just as locked as it was ever locked. You don't know what it done to me to stand there looking at the iron gate. And locked out of the Convent! I have no right out there! You can't imagine!
I don't know if I groaned right there. I don't know. I know I suffered enough, because I'm scared half to death. And what do I do if I go back and pound on that door? What will they do with me?
And, oh, the fear that grips your heart. And you say, "What did you do?"
I didn't have any shoes and stockings on. I'd worn those out years ago.
When I think of the Roman Catholic Church being the richest church in the world and they let those little Nuns go winter and summer without any shoes and they're without any hose - living in crucial poverty - I wonder how they can do it. As hungry as we are. Your priests are all nice and fat. But little Nuns are so hungry. I wonder how they do it sometimes.
You say, "What did you do, Charlotte?" Well, I tell you I just took a hold of that big old iron gate and I tried to climb it. That's all there was for me to do. And up, about a foot and a half from the top, is a ledge about six inches wide. I thought if I could get high enough to get my knee on the ledge, I'm safe. And I did. I got one knee on the ledge, but by this time I don't have any strength left either. And, you know, I thought, "What'll I do? I'll put one foot over. Then I'll get the other over." Then I realized, you know, I had three skirts on. My skirts are gathered on a belt and they're clear down to my ankles. My veil, of course, is down to my knees in front and that long in the back. How will I ever get over those sharp points?
And I thought, "I can't go down. I don't have strength enough." So, I'll have to jump. And if I jump, I'll break every bone because I was broken in body, of course. And you know I thought of what I'll do. Well, I pulled all my clothing up around my body, and held them with one hand. And then I thought, "Ill have to jump."
And, you know, they have a buzzer in the convent. And when a little Nun tries to escape, and they catch her, they put a buzzer on. And, oh, the priests tell you they don't come to the convent. I would you could see the priests then. You'll find a good many of them there. And they are immediately after that Nun. They don't want her out. If she comes out of that convent, she's going to give a testimony someday. And it'll pull the cloak off of convents. And I'll assure you they don't intend for us to get out.
And so as I let loose of that, the top of that gate and I made that jump, I just didn't make it. My clothing caught on top of those points and I hung there. But I'd let loose. And I often say, you know, I don't know what I looked like. I didn't know I had grey hair. But I've often said, "Maybe my hair turned grey there." Maybe... you'll never know what I'd suffered hanging there on top of that gate, knowing that buzzer can go on any minute. And then what would they do to me?
I was scared. So I thought I'll try to wiggle my body and swing it. If I could get back far enough to grab the gate with one hand, maybe I can help myself. And I did. And then with the other hand I tried to pry the snappers loose on my skirt. And that let me fall between them.
Do you know what happened to? I hit the ground. I'm out. I was unconscious for a while. I don't know how long. We have no way to tell. But when I came to, I had a shoulder broken, and my arm was broken right in here. The flesh - the bone is snapped right through my flesh because I didn't have any meat on me. I thought, "What'll I do." And I realized I'm on the outside. Where am I going? Where do you think you'd go?
I'm not in the United States. I'm in another country. And I don't know a thing about that country. When they took me over there, I was so heavily veiled. And they took me from that particular part or train to the convent. I was so heavily veiled I couldn't see anything. And I don't know where I am. I don't know where to go. I don't know if I have any people. I don't know if I have anybody in the world. And I'm a pauper. I don't have any money. And I'm hungry. And my body's broken. And I'm hurt now.
Where do you think you'd go? I tell you it's something to think about. I just started away to get away from the convent. And I did. And I started moving away. And all the leaves were falling, and they made so much noise. And I was scared. And I kept on moving. And finally dark overtook me - or rather - there's no twilight in that part of the country - it just drops off into darkness.
And, you know, I saw this little building beside the road. I thought I'll crawl in it. It was a doghouse or maybe a chicken-coop or something. But it's dirty. And I crawled in there because I was shaking and scared. And I laid in there for a little while to get a hold of myself. And then I thought, "I'll have to travel. It's dark. And it's safer for me."
So I got out and traveled that night. And the next day I hid behind pieces of board and tin that was piled up against an old building. And all day long, imagine, hiding in that hot place. And hungry as I was with broken bones. Do you realize what it's all about? No. You'll never know. But I do.
And then, you know, when night came again I have to go, because I'm going to get away from the convent. I'm afraid to rap on somebody's door. Remember, I'm scared. I don't know, I might rap on a Roman Catholic's door. They will immediately notify the priests and I'll be taken back to the Convent. And I'd rather they killed me than take me back. And so I didn't.
30 - RESCUED BY A LOVING COUPLE
But I went on and on and on. And then the next night, or next day I hid out in an old straw stack. And then that afternoon on the third day, I was scared then, because this arm was swollen as tight as it could swell, and I was having to carry it in the other hand. And all my fingers began to turn blue. And I realized gangrene poisoning setting in. And, you know, nobody to do anything for you. And I realized I'm going to die just like a rat beside the road. That's a terrible feeling. And I thought, "What'll I do? I'll just get out and go a little sooner. Maybe I'll have to rap on somebody's door."
That's what I did. I remember as I walked out, I don't know how far, I saw this lamp. It was an old-fashioned lamp burning. Very poor house. No paint on it. Now, I knew those were poor people. So I walked up to the screen door and I rapped on it. And a tall man came to the door. He was rather old. And I said, "Please may I have a drink of water?"
And do you know that old man didn't answer me. But he walked back into the house and he called his wife. And, God bless her heart, she's like most old-fashioned mothers. She came to the door, and she didn't say, "Who are you?" and "What do you want?" Thank God, there are a lot of good people in this world.
That dear little woman just pushed that door open and said, "Won't you come in and sit down?" Do you know that's the most beautiful music I've ever heard in my life? I should say I'll come in and sit down!
And she pulled out a chair. And I sat down on it. I was glad to sit down. And, you know, their house was poor. There were no rugs on the floor of any type. A table cloth. Red-checkered table cloth on the table. A little old stove over there in the corner and there was a fire in it. And that woman put some milk in a pan and heated it and brought it over to me.
And, you know, I'm hungry. I don't have any manners. I forgot how to act. I forgot a lot of things in twenty-two years.
And I grabbed that glass of milk before she ever set it down. And I gobbled it down. I'm so hungry! I felt like I'm going stark mad. And I took it instantly. And the moment it touched my stomach, of course, I couldn't retain it. I lost it. I haven't had any whole milk in twenty-two years. You can understand why I couldn't take it.
And she knew what to do. She went out into the kitchen and she heated some water - or rather over to the stove - and heated some water. And, bless her heart, she put sugar in that water and brought it over to me. And she sat down and gave it to me from a spoon.
I took every bit of it. Oh, it was good. It was nourishing. And then the daddy walked over by me and he said, "Now tell us who you are and where'd you come from."
I began to cry. I was scared then. I said, "I run away from the convent and I'm not going back."
And he said, "What happened to you?" My hand was laying up on the table.
And I said, "Well, I tried to get over the gate and I fell and I'm hurt."
And, you know, he said, "We'll have to call a doctor."
And, bless your sweet life, and then I really became hysterical! I got up from the table. I was going to run back outside and they wouldn't let me.
He said, "Wait a minute. We're not going to hurt you. You're hurt. You'll have to have help."
I said, "I don't have any money and I don't have any people. And I can't pay a doctor bill."
Of course, I was just in a terrible mess, if you want to know it. And that man said to me, "I'm going after a doctor." He said, "And he's not a Roman Catholic. Neither am I."
>>> Part 6
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